Guidelines for attending parties

As children reach their “teens” there seems to be an ever-increasing number of parties they want to attend. Parents may become confused or sometimes forget to provide guidelines when their children attend some of these parties. A parent’s example and guidance are the most important influences in their children’s life. The following are suggestions to help parents guide their children when there is the most pressure to act in an uncharacteristic manner – when attending parties.

Parents should know where their child will be:

• Obtain the name, address and telephone number of the party giver
• Let your child know that you expect a telephone call if the location of the party is changed

Here is how parents can be proactive:

Contact the parents of the party giver:

• Verify the location/occasion.
• Offer assistance to chaperone.
• Make sure that parents will be present.
• Be certain that alcohol and other drugs will not be permitted.
• Be aware of others’ values as well as your own.
• Share common experiences.
• Cooperate with other parents so that peer pressure can be reversed and redirected into more healthy channels.
• Get to know your child’s friends and their parents.

Behavior and training of your child

• Know how your child will get to and from the party
• Assure your child that you or a specific friend/neighbor can be called for a ride home. Make sure your child has that telephone number, and the means to phone
• Discuss with your child the possible situations in which s/he might need to make such a call.

Encourage your child to leave a party if :

• If the host’s parent isn’t present;
• If alcohol/drugs are available;
• If physical or property damage is being done;
• If s/he is uncomfortable at all. Young people should know what time they are expected to be home
• Be awake, or have your child awaken you when s/he arrives home. Set your alarm for 30 minutes past curfew, so you can follow up if your child still isn’t home
• Confirm “sleep-over” arrangements with host parents
• Develop your own “curfew”, or develop common curfew times amongst host parents
• Regardless of the time you set as curfew, it is important that you know where your children are at night!

If you are hosting the party, set the ground rules with your son or daughter before the party

• NO drugs or alcohol served or brought in
• NO leaving party and then returning
• NO gatecrashers
• Lights ON
• Set the time limit for the party
• Stick to the agreed-upon rules

Other ideas

• Encourage shared chaperoning
• Develop an understanding with your child beforehand that these guidelines are in effect at all parties, whether planned or spontaneous
• While some parties may be more benign than others, parents must judge which parties are less well supervised than others. The bottom-line; if you don’t know the hosts or group of people attending, it’s worth checking around

How do I prevent my child from drug and alcohol experiments and abuse

Parents often believe that their children do not value their opinions. Studies suggest, however, that parents have tremendous influence over their children, especially teenagers.

• Communicate openly with your children
• Teach them to say “no, thank you” to cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Role play
• Teach them it’s okay to seek adult advice, even if not from you , the parent
• Nurture self-esteem. Confident teenagers are less likely to follow the crowd to be cool
• Be aware that children are inquisitive. They will try new things, and drugs are easily obtainable Teenagers challenge authority and do the opposite of what you tell them.
• Let them make informed choices – talk about the harmful effects of drugs and alcohol rather than prohibit their use.